No mirrors in my nana's house

http://youtu.be/D6v4EqoqXSs


I couldn't find the YouTube video where Sweet Honey in the Rock perform this song.


No Mirrors In My Nana's House
by Y.M. Barnwell; Performed by Sweet Honey in the Rock

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Na's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I never knew that my skin was too black.
I never knew that my nose was too flat.
I never knew that my clothes didn't fit.
I never knew there were things that I'd missed,
cause the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun);
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I was intrigued by the cracks in the walls.
I tasted, with joy, the dust that would fall.
The noise in the hallway was music to me.
The trash and the rubbish just cushioned my feet.
And the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

The world outside was a magical place.
I only knew love.
I never knew hate,
and the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil'..."

Last day - Reflections

Ha! reflections...get it!

Anyway, I have come to the final conclusion that one should live their life with the belief that looks do not matter, and at the same time realize that they in fact do matter to most people. In one of my scenes in one of my favorite movies, Secondhand Lions, Uncle Hub gives young Walter part of the "What every boy needs to know about being a man" speech. In this small part of the speech the mentor reveals the idea that it doesn't matter if something is true or not you can believe in what ever you want to believe in. Things like good always triumphs over evil or hard work always pays off. It doesn't matter if good always triumphs over evil, but it does matter that you believe in it because it will shape the outlook you have on life.

Nobody should determine their self worth or their image based on their looks or the opinions of other people. A person should choose today how they are going to define themselves. One should define him/herself on things of virtue, hope, truth, and love. These are the things that are most important. Dr. King noted a person should be defined by the greatness of their character not the color of their skin. We should continually redefine ourselves based on our new understanding of the greatness that lies in each one of us. Now go to a mirror and tell yourself how great you are...and ignore that hair sticking up in back.

Day 25 - Mirrors

Mirrors are everywhere! or even your reflection. at this point, I am not as aware about the constant need to dodge a mirror, so I occasionally find myself face to face with...myself. Then I avert my eyes and move on. I am not overly concerned about the lack of a mirror. I am not craving a mirror or begging for the next five days to fly by. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

Why are others so concerned? How long would I have to go before everyone else realized that I don't care about looks, so they shouldn't bring it up? Maybe I just need a job that is not in a middle school where a small chocolate milk stain on your pants can leave stranded at your desk unwilling to get up.

Day 20 - The Neck Whisker

While talking to some students after school, I was a having a good time enjoying the appropriate humor of some really good kids until one of my students noticed that I had an inch long black hair growing on my neck! At first she didn't think it was attached, so she decided it were her job to pull on it. She pulled and found that it in fact was attached! Ahhhhh! It became a big thing that I tried to down play. I was not embarrassed nor did I care that the kids had been the one to find it. Normally, I would have seen it in the mirror and probably pulled it out or shaved it, but the mirror fast did not really control random neck hairs.

Again, I tried to down play it, but it was not a situation that was going to go away. At last a student named the hair a "neck whisker" and went to get a pair of scissors because it became apparent that our previous conversation could not continue until the neck whisker was taken care of.

During this no mirror experiment, I have found that I am not too worried about my outward appearance, but others seem to be completely intrigued by any miscues that might ensue from not carefully prepping in front of the mirror. It is actually to the point that I feel I would rather be in front of a mirror just so I don't have to waste time with the comments of a neck whisker or bushy eye brows. I have tried to make these moments the much sought after "learning moments." I am prone to give a speech on just about any topic when given even the slightest opening, but I have found this topic of looks to be one that people won't listen to or let go. Maybe looks do in fact matter...

Day 15 - My Hair is Sticking Up!

Not looking in a mirror is not a big deal if you know that you look okay, but what about when you should have checked a mirror because your hair is sticking up? I decided to make that happen oday. I showered last night but not this morning, which mean that my hair is sticking up in the back right now! I was really doing pretty well all morning with the thought that my hair is probably sticking up. I went about my day and did all of my great work with adults and kids for about half of the day...then I accidentally saw myself in the reflection of a doorway window and confirmed my hair sticking up.

Seeing my hair sticking up in back completely changed my day. I immediately wanted to go wet down my hair, or I wanted to keep holding my hair down. Ultimately, this is the crux of the experirment. Am I too hung up on my physical looks? It is easy to say I am not when I look the way I think I should, but what about when my hair sticks up all day? It has taken some work, but I am focused on doing great things again and not worried about my hair. Do I need to make sure that my hair is messed up every day so that I can lose that idea of worrying about looks? It is so ingrained to my psyche. I say that looks don't matter, and I believe that my ideas and beliefs are bigger than my physical being, but it is hard to live that out in the real world.

I hope that through this experiment I will be able to show others the true difficulty of presenting the idea of looks are not the important thing, and that it is inside that is important.

Day 11 - How's my hair?

I am still not really tempted by mirrors, but I am still somewhat concerned about my self image. I find myself occasionally holding down the one spot on my head where hair has traditionally stood up or wondering if that one weird long hair on my ear is growing out. I want to just cut randomoly by ear to see if I can cut the random hair before it is noticeable.

My conclusion is that I have not really changed thus far. I am just concerned about my looks and not looking in a mirror. If I was really not concerned, I wouldn't think about my hair sticking up and whether or not I should throw on a hat before I head to the store. Is that even where I want to be? Do I want to be at a point where I don't care about the social norms or do I just want to take the emphasis off of my looks a bit? I am not sure yet. Hopefully, I find out in the next 17 days or so.

Day 9

For the most part I don't really even notice not looking in a mirror. I did have another presentation today. I dressed up and probably would have looked in the mirror to make sure everything was working well together. Ultimately, I think my socks didn't really go well with my pants, and I don't need to a mirror to figure that out so I probably don't care all that much about looks whether I have a mirror or not.

I have mentioned to a couple of students that I am not looking in a mirror this month because the subject of look has come up. They kind of think I am weird anyway so they are not really surprised, but I did get to bring up the idea that outside appearances don't really matter, and I am trying to prove that. It was an interesting beginning to a dialogue that I believe will resurface before the month is over.

Day 4 - How Kids See Mirrors

Mirrors are covered and things are well. I don’t even really think about looking in a mirror. I am beginning to see some interesting things. I noticed today that my three kids, all three and under, do not ever check themselves in the mirror. The mirror is not used often at all in fact, except maybe to make some funny faces. What a much better way to use a mirror. Mirrors are never used to determine self worth, look for defects, or to “fix” things. Mirrors are more often used in the Children’s Museum to purposely make us look silly.

Day 3 - Killing Hypocrisy

I teach 8^th grade English. 8^th grade is the epitome of fashion critiquing where a single hair sticking out of place can end a life. This hectic lifestyle is not exempt for teachers. I have been told that my eye brows need waxed, my shoes are from the 80s, and my pants are lame. A cut throat environment might not be the best place to try going sans mirrors; however, the students I care for each day are part of the reason I am blogging the experience. I want them to understand that I truly believe that the inside is more important than the outside. 8^th graders can smell hypocrisy a mile away. You can’t tell them not smoke if you smoke or to not judge other if you do. I want to be able to look them square in the eye and tell them that I for sure know that the outside appearance does not matter.

Day 2 - Presentation Day

Today, I have a presentation in front of many of my peers. I have a shirt and tie on that I assume match. I found out once I got to school that my tie was crooked. Other than this I didn’t receive much feedback and things went really well. My students performed well for the tours they give, and all of my interactions with fellow teachers seemed to be well received. So far the lack of mirrors is not holding me back.

 I wanted to touch on a little more on why I am without mirrors this month. What do we most often look for in the mirror? Outside of the sixteen year old boy getting ready for his first date, we rarely stand in front of the mirror and get ourselves excited and pumped up about what we see. Often, we are going to the mirror image that everyone sees every day to look for imperfections. Now granted, we are going to the mirror to fix that hair that is sticking up or the collar that is accidentally popped or to confirm that our outfit does in fact match. The mirror has become a place to look for the negative in our physical appearance. In my routine, that would mean I would start the day and end the day by looking for what is wrong with me. The hypocrisy of the whole system became clear not too long ago. I want to be defined by what the Bible tells me I am and not by what the world is conforming me to be. The hypothesis becomes this: Every time I look in the mirror I look for something to change so I conform to the world’s standards of physical appearance, so if I stop looking in the mirror and continue seeking for the way God sees me, I should be left at the end of the month with a better idea of how God sees me and thus a better understanding of my relationship with God. Let the experiment begin!

Day 1 - Let's Get This Started

Support in any endeavor is key to success. In my first day, I found that once again my wife would be my greatest support. Brandi has encouraged me in projects ranging from hand delivering free hot dogs in trailer parks to New Orleans mission trips on our anniversary. After dodging mirrors in the morning, I came home after work to find all of our mirrors covered with fantastic drawings from our three kids. Now instead of looking in the mirror and seeing myself, I see a swirly road, an all green rainbow, or a “we love daddy” quote.  I love my family.

PreFast Preparation

I have often fasted food, but I have never fasted mirrors, so I thought I should practice. I am a little geeky in that regard. I found out that the temptation to look in a mirror was not great, but one could easily find themselves accidentally looking in a mirror because it is so routine and mirrors are everywhere. I found that I am in front of a mirror when I brush my teeth, floss, or shave. When I use the half bathroom downstairs, there is a mirror you can’t help but look in. While I am driving to work, I found my self looking in the rear view mirror—just to see what I look like before I head in to work. Then at work, I used the restroom and was bombarded again with mirrors. At the end of the day, I see all of the same mirrors from my dresser to the restroom.  I think the hardest thing about not looking in mirrors is going to be accidentally running into myself face to face. I don’t consider myself vain, but I do apparently look in a lot of mirrors everyday.